The Last Sith

[bnewman]

This song completes a trilogy (so far) of Sondheim parodies, curiously not merely all about Star Wars, but all about Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Something about the bitter bite of certain of Sondheim's songs (they're not all like that) lends itself to that dark chapter of the saga — or maybe it's just me.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Last Midnight" from Into the Woods by Stephen Sondheim 

listen to this song
 

You're the last Jedi

I'm the last Sith

Your time's past, Jedi

Soon you'll be a doomed myth

 

Told a little lie

Fought a little war

Broke a little vow

Did we?

 

Had to keep your lease

Say what you'll allow

Had to keep the peace

Doesn't matter how

Anyway, it doesn't matter now

 

You're the last Jedi

Of a doomed breed

The Dark Side is vast, Jedi

Vaster than your crass greed

 

Nothing you can do

But that was always true

Your army was merely my toy

 

No, of course what really matters is the blame

Someone you can blame

Fine, if that's the thing you enjoy

Placing the blame

If that's the aim

Give me the blame

The war was a ploy!

So?

 

You're so nice

You're not good

You're not bad

You're just nice

I'm not good

I'm not nice

I'm just spite

I'm the Sith

You're the fool

 

I'm the Sith

I'm the one who decieved

You all with

Lies you chose to believe

So why bother?

Will the son turn out just

Like his father?

Will you do what you must?

 

You're the last Jedi

Now it's my turn

I'm going to have a blast, Jedi

Soon you'll see the sky burn

I'm going to build a beam

A bigger, badder beam

A beam for blasting planets apart

Listen to the roar

Blow away the core

Dare you call it war?

What's one planet more?

That's how Empires get their start

 

You're the last Jedi

Just a bad dream

I'll leave you in the past, Jedi

Time to plan my last scheme

 

Consolidate control

I'll rule the Empire, it's mine

So go crawl into a hole

That would suit my vision just fine

 

You'll return again?

Bet you can't say when

I'll just rule the galaxy 'til then

You can pack it all in

Save the wrinkly green skin

You came with

Be a myth

While the Sith

win