bnewman: (guitar)
Ben Newman ([personal profile] bnewman) wrote in [community profile] bn_songbook2023-07-02 06:20 pm

The Last Sith

This song completes a trilogy (so far) of Sondheim parodies, curiously not merely all about Star Wars, but all about Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Something about the bitter bite of certain of Sondheim's songs (they're not all like that) lends itself to that dark chapter of the saga — or maybe it's just me.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman
ttto: "Last Midnight" from Into the Woods by Stephen Sondheim 
You're the last Jedi
I'm the last Sith
Your time's past, Jedi
Soon you'll be a doomed myth
 
Told a little lie
Fought a little war
Broke a little vow
Did we?
 
Had to keep your lease
Say what you'll allow
Had to keep the peace
Doesn't matter how
Anyway, it doesn't matter now
 
You're the last Jedi
Of a doomed breed
The Dark Side is vast, Jedi
Vaster than your crass greed
 
Nothing you can do
But that was always true
Your army was merely my toy
 
No, of course what really matters is the blame
Someone you can blame
Fine, if that's the thing you enjoy
Placing the blame
If that's the aim
Give me the blame
The war was a ploy!
So?
 
You're so nice
You're not good
You're not bad
You're just nice
I'm not good
I'm not nice
I'm just spite
I'm the Sith
You're the fool
 
I'm the Sith
I'm the one who decieved
You all with
Lies you chose to believe
So why bother?
Will the son turn out just
Like his father?
Will you do what you must?
 
You're the last Jedi
Now it's my turn
I'm going to have a blast, Jedi
Soon you'll see the sky burn
I'm going to build a beam
A bigger, badder beam
A beam for blasting planets apart
Listen to the roar
Blow away the core
Dare you call it war?
What's one planet more?
That's how Empires get their start
 
You're the last Jedi
Just a bad dream
I'll leave you in the past, Jedi
Time to plan my last scheme
 
Consolidate control
I'll rule the Empire, it's mine
So go crawl into a hole
That would suit my vision just fine
 
You'll return again?
Bet you can't say when
I'll just rule the galaxy 'til then
You can pack it all in
Save the wrinkly green skin
You came with
Be a myth
While the Sith
win

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