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This song completes a trilogy (so far) of Sondheim parodies, curiously not merely all about Star Wars, but all about Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Something about the bitter bite of certain of Sondheim's songs (they're not all like that) lends itself to that dark chapter of the saga — or maybe it's just me.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Last Midnight" from Into the Woods by Stephen Sondheim

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The paperclip maximizer is a thought experiment involving a hypothetical AI that is programmed to make as many paperclips as possible, with the idea that, unless otherwise constrained, it would attempt to turn all the matter in the universe (including Earth and us) into either paperclips or machines for making more paperclips. This is used to illustrate the dangers of runaway superintelligences constructed without sufficient ethical safeguards.

Some people are concerned that the AIs being developed today could evolve into that, possibly very quickly and without our realizing until it was too late to stop them. Knowing what I know about today's AI, I think that's silly. But it's still an engaging thought experiment with a fine science-fiction hook, so I thought it was worth a filk. Loessor's "Inchworm", with it's "businesslike mind" and its obsession with exponential growth (it's right there in the descant), seemed particularly appropriate.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Inchworm" by Frank Loesser

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I saw Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith in the theater the weekend it came out. It so happened that I also attended a live production of Sweeney Todd that same weekend. The similarities stood out to me, as they so often do, like a bright, hot blade in a dark place: both Sweeney and Vader start out in promising careers in which they owe their success to their skill with a gleaming blade; both are disgraced, transformed by a consuming rage and hatred, and return under a new name seeking vengeance; both murder their wives but blame others for it; and both leave behind children who have to sort it all out.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd" from Sweeney Todd by Stephen Sondheim

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This song is part seven of the song cycle Melissa Mielfée and the Omphalonian Orchid, a Harry Potter x Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Oompa Loompa Song" from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, by Walter Scharf and Anthony Newley

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Another song about the true horror that is parasitoid wasps.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Singin' in the Rain" by Arthur Freed and Nacio Herb Brown

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Almost nothing in "The Rainbow Connection" needed to be changed to make it about Babylon 5. Just replace "rainbow" with "Vorlon" throughout and every line falls into place.

Really, that's it.

lyrics and music by Paul Williams and Kenneth Ascher, adapted by Benjamin Newman

This classic from The Muppet Movie always makes me think of the Elves sailing into the West, so I updated it a little.

lyrics adapted by Benjamin Newman

from "I'm Going to Go Back There Someday" by Paul Williams and Kenneth Ascher

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The threat of climate change calls for a particular kind of hero...

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Man of La Mancha (I, Don Quixote)" by Joe Darion and Mitch Leigh

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A song in praise of soy sauce.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Tomorrow" from Annie by Charles Strouse and Martin Charnin

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Based on Star Trek VI.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Sunrise, Sunset" from Fiddler on the Roof by Sheldon Harnick and Jerry Bock

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Surely this pun has been made many times — the challenge was to write a song as rich with irony and disappointment as the original. The grammar alone should reveal who is singing.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Send in the Clowns" by Stephen Sondheim

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lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Rubber Duckie" by Jeffrey Moss

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Near the beginning of A Fire Upon the Deep, Blueshell warns Pham of the dangers of the Transcend. Why keep the oceanic imagery from the source song? Because Blueshell is essentially a cyborg sea pen.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Under the Sea" from The Little Mermaid by Howard Ashman and Alan Menken

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HAL and GLaDOS are obviously related in a literary sense, but their stories fit so well together they might be from the same continuity. Both are AIs who flip out and kill their human teammates in the context of research projects involving interspatial portals. Also, they both sing a catchy swan-song as they are dismantled. See also AI Psycho Guilt for Two

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Still Alive" from Portal by Jonathan Coulton

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lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "The Colors of the Wind" from Disney's Pocahontas by Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz

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A duet for HAL and GLaDOS. See also Freaking Out

lyrics by Benjamin Newman
ttto: "Daisy Bell" (aka "Bicycle Built for Two") by Harry Dacre

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