The Omphalonian Orchid

[bnewman]

This song is part three of the song cycle Melissa Mielfée and the Omphalonian Orchid, a Harry Potter x Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Don't Push That Button" by Duane Elms

with some influence from "The Biggest Aspidistra in the World" by Tommie Connor and Jimmy Harper

listen to this song
 

/ A - / - E / - - / - A / - - / - D / - A / E A /

 

Welcome to Herbology, my name's Professor Sprout

This lesson's sure to make our garden thrive

Here's Hagrid come to help us coax the little creatures out

We'll be working with a honey-fairy hive

 

Just as Wizards are to Muggles, honey-fairies are to bees

They can pollinate plants normal bees cannot

And, Melissa, your experience at home may help with these

So please help me with what's planted in this pot

 

/: D A / E A :/

 

This is my most treasured specimen, so handle it with care

The only orchid of its kind in England now

A rare and precious flower from a land no one knows where

The only orchid of its kind in England now

 

It's called an "Omphalonian", it likes to twist and climb

The meaning of its name has vanished in the mists of time

There's a spell to make it bloom, a kind of nonsense nursery rhyme

But no Witch alive today remembers how

 

But I think the honey-fairies might remember how it's done

Though they'll do it with a buzz and not in speech

So, Melissa, if you and your friends would like to have some fun

Please approach the hive and humbly beseech

 

You'll have to whisper certain words and do a little dance

Don't worry if it looks a little funny

And if you win their favor — it's a little like romance —

They might gift you with a tiny jar of honey

 

The honey from this orchid is a prize unto itself

As magical as any potion brewed

But it has a strange effect upon the humble household Elf

It tends to make them obstinate and rude

 

I think you'll find it useful in a Potions class someday

If you can make it bloom, the honey's yours, and by the way

A sufficient dose can even make a House Elf disobey

So please don't try to put it in their food