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This song sets out one of the foundational myths of the Storytellers' World, an original fantasy setting. Zoe Mulford's original song, "The Street That Wasn't There", could practically be set in that world already, which is one reason why the first verse is so little changed. The identity of Professor Oceanstone (or, if you think that's too easy, why his name is "Oceanstone") is left as an exercise.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "The Street That Wasn't There" by Zoe Mulford

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An American Jewish urban legend tells of an immigrant whose name was changed to "Sean Ferguson" because he or his mother answered a clerk's query with "Shoyn fargesen!", which is Yiddish for "I have forgotten!" — which isn't likely to have really happened, because immigration clerks are not quite that easily fooled. But an angel, especially one of a Chelmish persuasion (meaning: critically lacking in practical wisdom), just might be — which would be a problem, especially if the angel is supposed to be looking after an Irish immigrant whose name really is Sean Ferguson.

The protagonist, Reuven aka Robert (not Sean Ferguson!) is named for my mother's father of blessed memory, who often told his children and grandchildren silly stories of this sort.

by Benjamin Newman

after "Disobedience" by A.A. Milne

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This song borrows the tune of Graham Pratt's pro-fox, anti-hunting ballad "The Black Fox" (popularized in the filk community by Heather Dale) to tell a different pro-fox, anti-hunting story — in this case, an original fairy tale. What I love about the way this song came together is that the story is original, but you can see its lineage — Pixar's Brave, Cartoon Saloon's Wolfwalkers, Earthsea, and even the much-bememed legend about turning a werewolf human by calling it by name.

It's fair to ask if the ending here is earned, I'll merely point out that I have followed the fairy-tale rules by making sure that everyone's boasts, warnings, and foolish oaths are exactly fulfilled.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "The Black Fox" by Graham Pratt

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Tunic is an adventure video game that begins as a nostalgic callback to the classic NES Legend of Zelda and then grows into something much stranger and deeper (and more unsettling). Woven throughout the mystery is the game's instruction manual, which you find in the game itself, individual pages of it scattered across the world to be picked up, holding who knows what secrets — and most of it in code. If you have yet to play it, I'd recommend unraveling as much of the mystery for yourself as you can. This song hints at some of the answers, but doesn't spell them out.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "O Come, O Come Emmanuel", trad.

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Smith of Wootton Major, one of J.R.R. Tolkien's lesser-known works, is a strange and haunting novella about a man who journeys in Faery and seemingly suffers no ill effects just from being there (although he does get into trouble at points). Having journeyed in Faery myself — and not without serious consequences! — that story stands as an inspiration and aspiration. Tom Smith's original song suggested itself some time ago as a tune to fit this tale.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "I Want to Be Peter Lorre" by Tom Smith

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Bags of Holding, and other containers that are bigger on the inside, are a staple of fantasy role-playing games... but where do they come from? This song imagines one possible origin, in the form of a secret guild with the talent of folding space with just a certain turn of the wrist — inspired in part by William Sleator's The Boy Who Reversed Himself. I'd love to expand this concept into an actual RPG supplement so you can put a Packer character (or Packer guild hall setting) into your game.

lyrics and music by Benjamin Newman

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This song continues the theme of "Starlight Through Woven Branches" of finding Jewish associations in Tolkien. Gandalf / Mithrandir is a servant of the divine who for long ages wanders the world in a grey cloak, appearing seemingly at random to help people in need. When facing his enemies he summons divine fire against them. He heralds the coming of the true King. And his sometimes cantankerous demeanor hides an inner goodness. There's only one character in Jewish legend to match him with, and although both of them are worthy of many songs, there was only one possible tune for this one.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Eliyahu Hanavi", trad. Hebrew

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A scion of a proud house, living in exile and disappointment, takes the advice of a friend and stirs up the courage to return. Of course in Thorin's case he is the rightful heir, the exile is on account of a dragon, the advice to return is good (does Gandalf give bad advice?), and the expedition is ultimately successful — but it still ends with his death.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Preston Miller" by Dave Carter

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The key turning point that sets off most of the action of the Silmarillion is the terrible oath sworn by the Elf Fëanor and his sons to avenge Morgoth's theft of the Silmarils, magical gems containing some of the first light of creation.

This song has been updated to remove uses of the word "black" as a metonym for "evil".

lyrics and music by Benjamin Newman

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Partially inspired, as are many of my songs about incidents in Faery, by true events.

lyrics and by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Hardware Store" by Weird Al Yankovic (more or less)

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This is my lyric arrangement of the underground theme from Final Fantasy IV. In the game, the first cave you encounter is the Mist Cave, which is haunted by a Mist Dragon — and the Mist Dragon turns out to have a specific connection to the game's plot, which is not explored in the song. The song represents more of a legend that might have grown around the place, before the events of the game occur.

The chords, based on an analysis of a MIDI file, are as close as I could make them and unfortunately quite difficult to play on the guitar — F#m is, based on a computer search, the least-annoying key, and I still can't pull it off consistently. My recording is a cappella.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman
ttto: "Into the Dark" from Final Fantasy IV by Nobuo Uematsu

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Melissa Mielfée and the Omphalonian Orchid is a Harry Potter x Charlie and the Chocolate Factory crossover fanfic in ten songs.

I am (and you should be) completely done with Harry Potter as a commercial franchise, due to the author's ongoing vocal transphobia. If you're also completely done with HP as a fandom, obviously skip this one. Roald Dahl was also not an unproblematic author. Both authors included problematically stereotyped servile diminutive races in their worlds, which this fanfic calls out and attempts to correct.

download all ten songs as a zip archive

This song is part ten of the song cycle Melissa Mielfée and the Omphalonian Orchid, a Harry Potter x Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "The Mary Ellen Carter" (verse) by Stan Rogers

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This song is part nine of the song cycle Melissa Mielfée and the Omphalonian Orchid, a Harry Potter x Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

after "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised" by Gil Scott-Heron

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This song is part eight of the song cycle Melissa Mielfée and the Omphalonian Orchid, a Harry Potter x Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

set to "Reality" by John L. Bell

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This song is part seven of the song cycle Melissa Mielfée and the Omphalonian Orchid, a Harry Potter x Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Oompa Loompa Song" from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, by Walter Scharf and Anthony Newley

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This song is part six of the song cycle Melissa Mielfée and the Omphalonian Orchid, a Harry Potter x Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Skullcrusher Mountain" by Jonathan Coulton

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This song is part five of the song cycle Melissa Mielfée and the Omphalonian Orchid, a Harry Potter x Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Subterranean Homesick Blues" by Bob Dylan

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This song is part four of the song cycle Melissa Mielfée and the Omphalonian Orchid, a Harry Potter x Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Preston Miller" by Dave Carter

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This song is part three of the song cycle Melissa Mielfée and the Omphalonian Orchid, a Harry Potter x Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Don't Push That Button" by Duane Elms

with some influence from "The Biggest Aspidistra in the World" by Tommie Connor and Jimmy Harper

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