Mechanical Advantage

[bnewman]

A somewhat kinky song about the physics of simple machines.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman

ttto: "Take Advantage of Me" by Seanan McGuire

 

listen to this song

/: Am - Dm - / Am - E7 - :/

 

The cute engineer in the oil-stained jeans

Says with a gleam in her eye:

We're none of us simple, and we're sure not machines

But that doesn't mean the rules don't apply

 

/ Dm - Am - / / / Dm - E7 - / Am - Dm - / E7 - Am - /

 

I thought that you had studied this, I thought you'd understand

It isn't how much force you use, but how carefully you've planned

You don't exactly rock my world, not with your bare hands

But if you had a lever long enough, and somewhere to stand

You could sweep me off my feet easily

Take mechanical advantage of me

 

She measures attraction by the force that she feels

And she hopes that's the way that you swing

Her heart's a contraption made of wheels within wheels

She wants to give it to you on a string

 

Now, no one's ever offered you quite that kind of gift

When you say you can't accept it, she replies, a little miffed:

If you can't take the tension, or if it simply won't shift

Kick it into low gear, that's what gives me a lift

It's irresistable (to a degree)

Take mechanical advantage of me

 

Much as she seems to be entirely hooked

You've come to the end of your rope

While you stress and strain she grins and flashes a look

And says:  Consider the question of slope...

 

We can do this plane and simple, or if you're so inclined

Why not ramp things up a bit, that's what I always had in mind

To where "normal" means "along a perpendicular line"

I know all the angles, so just tell me your sine

And we can almost defy gravity

Take mechanical advantage of me