The Ballad of Sean Ferguson

[bnewman]

An American Jewish urban legend tells of an immigrant whose name was changed to "Sean Ferguson" because he or his mother answered a clerk's query with "Shoyn fargesen!", which is Yiddish for "I have forgotten!" — which isn't likely to have really happened, because immigration clerks are not quite that easily fooled. But an angel, especially one of a Chelmish persuasion (meaning: critically lacking in practical wisdom), just might be — which would be a problem, especially if the angel is supposed to be looking after an Irish immigrant whose name really is Sean Ferguson.

The protagonist, Reuven aka Robert (not Sean Ferguson!) is named for my mother's father of blessed memory, who often told his children and grandchildren silly stories of this sort.

by Benjamin Newman

after "Disobedience" by A.A. Milne

listen to this poem

 

Sean Ferguson, mother, and father

Boarded the ship at Cork

Sailed across the Atlantic

Headed for old New York

Sean Ferguson has a bright future

Even a destiny

But Sean's in terrible trouble

And now it's all up to me

 

Sean Ferguson, mother, and father

landed at New York Bay

but Sean's guardian angel

seems to have gone astray

Heard some other kid's mother

only just lately met

Cry out loud "Shoyn fargesen!"

That's Yiddish for "I forget!"

 

Desk clerks at immigration

didn't write down that name

I'm Reuven, possibly Robert

Sean Ferguson's not the same!

But Sean's guardian angel's

acuity underwhelms

Did an angel so foolish

catch the last train from Chelm?

 

And so Sean's guardian angel

followed me home from port

Watched a young Jewish family

making a brand new start

But there's a young Irish family

with a young Irish whelp

somewhere else in the City

who really could use your help!

 

Sean Ferguson's guardian angel

told me what lies in store

It seems Sean's fate is entangled

with creatures of Irish lore

The tales of dybbuks and demons

I heard at my bubbe's knee

were entirely different

What are the fae to me?

 

Sean Ferguson's fated to triumph

over a family curse

But if he isn't protected

things will turn out much worse

To meet his destiny bravely

he ought to have been quite blessed

And who was supposed to deliver the blessing?

I'll bet you've already guessed

 

And so, I, Reuven ben Yaakov

put on my tallit katan

Will its fringes protect me

if I meet a leprechaun?

Will this meshuggenah angel

ever fulfill its vow?

And will the real Sean Ferguson

stand up now?!

 

Comments

[ladymondegreen]

As I have doubtless recounted I went to USY with an Amy Ferguson, grand daughter to Sean.