How I Met My Dragon

[bnewman]

Haskell is one of my imaginary friends, a small silicon dragon who accompanies me on inner journeys. I've said a bit more about him in the intro to another song, but I left off telling the story of how we met, because I wasn't ready. Then this poem came pouring out.

Haskell is not just an imaginary friend, he represents a part of me, specifically my manic cleverness. We met near the beginning of the Year of Madness, and he wasn't small then, or tame. When I realized how dangerous he might be, it was almost too late. Making him small and tame took a lot of hard work.

The alarming thing about the story is this: the first half of this poem narrates, in detail, the content my own subconscious contributed to a (dangerously poorly) guided meditation journey that took place before the Year of Madness — in fact, that may have triggered the Year of Madness — certainly long before I knew I was bipolar. Looking back, it has an uncomfortable whiff of prophecy about it.

by Benjamin Newman
 

I climbed to the top of the Sacred Peak

In search of an answer I had to seek

And the Goddess said: Sit! and we sipped some tea

And She asked: What gift would you have of Me?

 

I answered the Goddess: Please, tell me true

I have so many dreams, but they don't come true

I spin so many plans, but they don't stay spun

I think something inside me has come undone

 

She said: Let's see, and with arm outstretched

Reached into my belly and firmly fetched

A slithering thing like a snake or eel

That was scaled in silver and not quite real

 

She measured the creature with tender care

No wonder you've wandered with this in there!

This creature of wisdom and wit and will

Weaves your words into worlds, but it won't sit still

 

It's properly yours, not some outside guest

But I'm going to transform it, I think that's best

In the form you see now, it still lacks a few things:

It ought to be bigger, and it ought to have wings

 

That sounds like a dragon, I thought with pride

What joy if a dragon were mine to ride?

And the Goddess smiled, and She didn't say

That a dragon might carry me clean away

 

My first flight with the dragon was fast and fun

But now I think back on the damage done

In claiming the gift of a dragon soul

I was too late in learning I'd lost control

 

I wrestled that dragon for almost a year

Some weeks in wonder, some nights in fear

Some days in danger, but not alert

'Til the claws came out, and some folks got hurt

 

I said to the Goddess: Enough's enough!

This life with a dragon is far too rough!

I think giving him wings wasn't wrong at all

But we'd all rest better if he were small

 

The Goddess replied: You're quite right, I think

What you need is a potion to make him shrink

And that potion is more than My Heaven's worth

You'll have to discover it here on Earth

 

I knew I had little enough to lose

I went to the doctors, I drank their brews

And the dragon slept, and he wouldn't wake

And I asked them: Might there be some mistake?

 

Finally one doctor weighed the draught

And said: You've been taking too much by half!

I took her advice, and the dragon stirred

And he stayed as small as a hunter's bird

 

The Goddess smiled and She said: It's best

If you hold him close, and you keep him jessed

If you treat your dragon with steadfast love

He will fly straight home to his keeper's glove

 

And that's how I and my dragon met

Who's my soul's keen edge, not some pampered pet

Not forgetting the trouble he's put me through

And I swear that the soul of this tale is true

Comments

[wyld_dandelyon]

I love this! And yes, finding the right draught and the right dose is a challenge.