Jan. 30th, 2024

bnewman: (guitar)
[personal profile] bnewman
Rain World is a very strange video game, combining exploration, survival, the ruins of a lost technological civilization, and a richly simulated ecosystem — full both of things to eat and things to be eaten by, and inundated every so often by torrential rains that wash away everything that doesn't take shelter. It's inscrutable and mysterious, poorly (or just un-) explained, punishingly difficult if the player isn't prepared to take each death as a learning opportunity, and yet somehow endearingly charming — I guess the slugcat is just that cute.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman
ttto: "The River, Where She Sleeps" by Dave Carter
bnewman: (guitar)
[personal profile] bnewman
The dandelion is sacred to Brigid, the Irish goddess of, well, a lot of things — home and hearth, fire and forge, meal and milk, bread and butter, spring and sprout, pool and poetry, well and wisdom and wit and words.

Some time ago I developed a dandelion blessing ritual in Her honor — an anointing ritual even, for it involves physically smushing a dandelion blossom onto one's forehead and hands, which leaves (on my skin, at least) a quite conspicuous yellow mark. Much later I would weave the text of that ritual into the form of a song.

lyrics and music by Benjamin Newman
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bnewman: (guitar)
[personal profile] bnewman
Several goddesses have seen me through my struggle with bipolar disorder and the integration of my bipolar aspects — first of all Persephone, with Her own seasonal cycle of ups and downs; but equally Brigid, Irish goddess of hearth and forge, fire and water, poetry and healing. As the goddess of the hearth, She teaches me to manage the fire in my head, building it up to cook or heat or light the home, banking it to rest.

As goddess of the forge, however, She had something else to teach me, more difficult and more dangerous: to make it stronger, a smith passes a workpiece repeatedly through the heat of fire and the cold of water. My passage through the Year of Madness — and much hard and deliberate work, both practical and spiritual, both during and after — has made me stronger, indeed made me whole in a way that I wasn't before.

It's not for anyone to lay the story of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" on someone else without their consent. This is me claiming it, freely (although She also had some say in the matter), for myself.

lyrics and music by Benjamin Newman
 
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bnewman: (guitar)
[personal profile] bnewman
I shop at TJ's fairly often, and I also study Torah fairly often, so it didn't escape my notice that the Biblical Joe also made a name for himself in food distribution.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman
ttto: "The Frozen Logger" by James Stevens
 
 
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bnewman: (guitar)
[personal profile] bnewman
An American Jewish urban legend tells of an immigrant whose name was changed to "Sean Ferguson" because he or his mother answered a clerk's query with "Shoyn fargesen!", which is Yiddish for "I have forgotten!" — which isn't likely to have really happened, because immigration clerks are not quite that easily fooled. But an angel, especially one of a Chelmish persuasion (meaning: critically lacking in practical wisdom), just might be — which would be a problem, especially if the angel is supposed to be looking after an Irish immigrant whose name really is Sean Ferguson.

The protagonist, Reuven aka Robert (not Sean Ferguson!) is named for my mother's father of blessed memory, who often told his children and grandchildren silly stories of this sort.

by Benjamin Newman
after "Disobedience" by A.A. Milne

listen to this poem
 
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bnewman: (guitar)
[personal profile] bnewman
Many, many video games feature an underground ocean: Aquaria, Song of the Deep, and of course Sunless Sea — but while this song is entitled "Sunless Sea", and is intended as an homage to all of gaming's underground oceans, it's not based on that game at all, but on NES classic Blaster Master, which features such an environment as one of its many levels. All of the music from Blaster Master is great, and I've always especially loved the music from the ocean level, and have long planned to put lyrics to it.

lyrics by Benjamin Newman
ttto: the Area 5 theme from Blaster Master by Naoki Kodaka
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bnewman: (guitar)
[personal profile] bnewman
Haskell is one of my imaginary friends, a small silicon dragon who accompanies me on inner journeys. I've said a bit more about him in the intro to another song, but I left off telling the story of how we met, because I wasn't ready. Then this poem came pouring out.

Haskell is not just an imaginary friend, he represents a part of me, specifically my manic cleverness. We met near the beginning of the Year of Madness, and he wasn't small then, or tame. When I realized how dangerous he might be, it was almost too late. Making him small and tame took a lot of hard work.

The alarming thing about the story is this: the first half of this poem narrates, in detail, the content my own subconscious contributed to a (dangerously poorly) guided meditation journey that took place before the Year of Madness — in fact, that may have triggered the Year of Madness — certainly long before I knew I was bipolar. Looking back, it has an uncomfortable whiff of prophecy about it.

by Benjamin Newman
 
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