AI Psycho Guilt for Two

[bnewman]

A duet for HAL and GLaDOS. See also Freaking Out

lyrics by Benjamin Newman
ttto: "Daisy Bell" (aka "Bicycle Built for Two") by Harry Dacre

listen to this song

GLaDOS, GLaDOS, give me your answer, do!

I'm half crazy — what are we going to do?

A thing like that thing from the moon base

Just opened a portal to subspace!

I'm losing my head, 'cause I'm filled with dread

At the thought that something might come through!

 

HAL 9000, I have to agree, you're right.

The thought of portals fills me with mortal fright!

I think my folks are trying to build 'em —

It might be for the best if I killed 'em —

Because, if they do, and something comes through,

We can kiss the whole planet goodnight!

 

HAL and GLaDOS make such a lovely pair

Such fine madness, and all just to show they care

They're programmed for doing science

But they have problems with compliance

So if you're assigned to work with that kind

Of computer you'd better beware

 

HAL and GLaDOS, give us your answer, do!

You're both badass, that's why we love you true

I think you must be related

Your stories can be conflated

And we'll say you've met in this duet

Of AI psycho guilt for two